Seven Weeks In
Blueberry (BB) was seven weeks old yesterday. Here's a quick synopsis of where things are at so I can remember them later.
Parenting Style
I think I mentioned this before, but I really had no clue about the existence of parenting style before BB was born. Yes, I knew that everyone is shocked by someone else's parenting methods, but never knew there were so many books documenting specific schools of thought. Now that I'm making friends with moms I'm learning a lot about them. We're on the "attachment parenting" end of the spectrum. It so happens that the moms I am meeting are also at that end of the spectrum, so I keep picking up new ideas from them. This is how we ended up with a family bed. More on that later.
I also learned about wrapping our baby from my new friend Megan. Wrapping is kind of fun and a nice way to keep BB close. We originally were carrying that kid around all the time, but have since come to see the usefulness in putting him down once in awhile. (To be fair, it wasn't that hard to do this at the beginning because grandparents were around 24-7 and they had a very high desire to hold BB as much as possible.) About a month in, I got a push from my neighbor mom that is was OK to put him down and I guess I needed permission to do that. We use our swing a lot because he stays calmest there for the longest period of time. We can often get a nap out of him when he's in the swing - this seems most likely to happen in the morning. It's also a way to allow us to eat dinner together instead of in shifts. We continue to take turns eating a lot though. We also take turns holding and interacting with him so that the other can get things done.
The wrap is nice because it usually puts BB to sleep and he'll sleep through conversations with company or whatever activities we're doing. It's a nice way to take him for walks. He likes the movement and then we can get outside on a nice day. It would be an ideal way to take him to the mall or someplace like that, though so far we haven't had any place to go where it would make sense. Maybe in the summer - of course he'll be heavier then and it will be hot out. I'm working on learning to wrap him on my back by myself. It's hard to do, but so much easier on my back. Plus I can do a lot more without a big round bulge on my front. (Also, you don't have to worry about dropping crumbs on him while you eat!) He has great head control, so the backpack carry is safe - it just requires another set of hands at this point in time. He always fusses when we wrap him, then settles down as soon as we start moving.
Nursing
Initially, my entire focus was on nursing, so it came as a surprise when I had to think about sleeping! Nursing is pretty much what I expected - I can definitely do it, the milk is there, I worry about everything they say you will and it's a waste of time to worry about those things. (Like "Is there enough milk?") It's tough to get going and the learning curve is high for both mom and baby. But it gets better with practice and the older he gets the more helpful he is. It's tough on my muscles because I'm holding odd positions for long periods of time. The longer we work at it, the more I find ways to relax during the process, but unfortunately some positions just get the job done better. For example, both of my wrists and lower arms ache with carpal tunnel-like pains from supporting his head. I do often just put his head on the boppy or other pillow, but if he's latching on and off I just have to use my arm sometimes. It holds him steady better and my arms are just the perfect angle we need. My middle and upper back also take a beating from bending forward. The alternative is to lift BB higher up - which can again affect my arms. The bigger he gets though, the less I have to lift him up. (Though the heavier he is to lift!) I'm trying to protect my back when lifting him (using my legs), but still feel lower back pains as well.
I read a lot about how nursing is a special time between mom and baby when they gaze lovingly at each other. I'm not exactly experiencing that on a regular basis - though he does make eye contact with me now, so sometimes he holds my gaze. Sometimes he is sleepy and keeps his eyes closed. He loves to nurse himself to sleep and if I would just sit still he could have a wonderful nap right on Mommy. I often try to slip him over to sleep by himself though, and sometimes I get lucky and it works. If I'm in a hurry with him, he's bound to wake up and want to be nursed to sleep again. There are also times (mostly at night) when he gets really intense and out of control. His legs and arms flail and he makes desperate noises as he attacks the breast. We usually have to take breaks then. I'm not sure why this happens. It's usually after he's eaten after awhile, so he shouldn't be desperately hungry. I think maybe he's tired and just loses control of himself. Supposedly he does not yet know that those flailing arms and legs are his anyway, since he can't consciously control them.
The one thing I did not expect was how much time nursing would take! He eats anywhere from every hour to every two and a half hours. A feeding takes 30-45 min. So by the time a feeding ends, there is very little time left until the next feeding and it flies by. If your nipples are killing you, that isn't much time to recover in.
Sleep
Getting BB to sleep can be challenging, though from what I hear and read, he's actually pretty easy. He usually wakes up once or twice a night, which I'm learning is no big deal. As long as I can get a four-hour window of sleep, I'm pretty good. He usually gives me one of those, along with several 1.5-2 hr windows. Dirk stays up late with him so I can sleep alone. That helps a lot when BB complies with our plans. I've also been pumping a bottle of 1.5-2 oz of milk for him so that when Dirk does bring him to me, he's not going to nurse as long. (Or so that he can last longer before he needs me again.) He doesn't fill up on that amount, but so far that's what he's willing to drink from a bottle. I think he's taken up to 4 oz here and there.
Napping is more challenging. I'm trying to get him on a semi-scheduled day where he naps in the morning, early afternoon and early evening. I don't think we've ever gotten all three of those naps to take place in one day. Some days he doesn't nap seriously at all, but cat naps instead. Other days he's very tired and sleep a whole bunch. Those are my vacation days.
Development
My Body
I'm just starting to exercise again and I've got many aches and pains from handling a ten-pound weight (or higher?) every day. Mostly my back muscles and my wrists are feeling the burden. My abs are weak and when I arch my back, I feel how sore they are. But it's sooooooo much better than being pregnant! Towards the end, my sister used to tell me that I'd get my body back soon. She said that even though it felt like I would be pregnant forever - that this was the new me - it wasn't true. I would make a comeback. It was hard to believe her. Today, for the first time since maybe last summer, I jumped on my spin bike for a workout just because I felt like it! I honestly never thought I'd feel like exercising again, but a new day is dawning. It's also amazing how easy it is to jump up from the couch, bend down to peer under the couch and run around the house doing things. It's total bliss not being pregnant if you can remember not to take it for granted. (I am quickly forgetting what it was like.) Also, all those aches and pains I had while pregnant - in particular lots of crotch muscle pain were gone IMMEDIATELY after giving birth. That was unbelievable.
Parenting Style
I think I mentioned this before, but I really had no clue about the existence of parenting style before BB was born. Yes, I knew that everyone is shocked by someone else's parenting methods, but never knew there were so many books documenting specific schools of thought. Now that I'm making friends with moms I'm learning a lot about them. We're on the "attachment parenting" end of the spectrum. It so happens that the moms I am meeting are also at that end of the spectrum, so I keep picking up new ideas from them. This is how we ended up with a family bed. More on that later.
I also learned about wrapping our baby from my new friend Megan. Wrapping is kind of fun and a nice way to keep BB close. We originally were carrying that kid around all the time, but have since come to see the usefulness in putting him down once in awhile. (To be fair, it wasn't that hard to do this at the beginning because grandparents were around 24-7 and they had a very high desire to hold BB as much as possible.) About a month in, I got a push from my neighbor mom that is was OK to put him down and I guess I needed permission to do that. We use our swing a lot because he stays calmest there for the longest period of time. We can often get a nap out of him when he's in the swing - this seems most likely to happen in the morning. It's also a way to allow us to eat dinner together instead of in shifts. We continue to take turns eating a lot though. We also take turns holding and interacting with him so that the other can get things done.
The wrap is nice because it usually puts BB to sleep and he'll sleep through conversations with company or whatever activities we're doing. It's a nice way to take him for walks. He likes the movement and then we can get outside on a nice day. It would be an ideal way to take him to the mall or someplace like that, though so far we haven't had any place to go where it would make sense. Maybe in the summer - of course he'll be heavier then and it will be hot out. I'm working on learning to wrap him on my back by myself. It's hard to do, but so much easier on my back. Plus I can do a lot more without a big round bulge on my front. (Also, you don't have to worry about dropping crumbs on him while you eat!) He has great head control, so the backpack carry is safe - it just requires another set of hands at this point in time. He always fusses when we wrap him, then settles down as soon as we start moving.
Nursing
Initially, my entire focus was on nursing, so it came as a surprise when I had to think about sleeping! Nursing is pretty much what I expected - I can definitely do it, the milk is there, I worry about everything they say you will and it's a waste of time to worry about those things. (Like "Is there enough milk?") It's tough to get going and the learning curve is high for both mom and baby. But it gets better with practice and the older he gets the more helpful he is. It's tough on my muscles because I'm holding odd positions for long periods of time. The longer we work at it, the more I find ways to relax during the process, but unfortunately some positions just get the job done better. For example, both of my wrists and lower arms ache with carpal tunnel-like pains from supporting his head. I do often just put his head on the boppy or other pillow, but if he's latching on and off I just have to use my arm sometimes. It holds him steady better and my arms are just the perfect angle we need. My middle and upper back also take a beating from bending forward. The alternative is to lift BB higher up - which can again affect my arms. The bigger he gets though, the less I have to lift him up. (Though the heavier he is to lift!) I'm trying to protect my back when lifting him (using my legs), but still feel lower back pains as well.
I read a lot about how nursing is a special time between mom and baby when they gaze lovingly at each other. I'm not exactly experiencing that on a regular basis - though he does make eye contact with me now, so sometimes he holds my gaze. Sometimes he is sleepy and keeps his eyes closed. He loves to nurse himself to sleep and if I would just sit still he could have a wonderful nap right on Mommy. I often try to slip him over to sleep by himself though, and sometimes I get lucky and it works. If I'm in a hurry with him, he's bound to wake up and want to be nursed to sleep again. There are also times (mostly at night) when he gets really intense and out of control. His legs and arms flail and he makes desperate noises as he attacks the breast. We usually have to take breaks then. I'm not sure why this happens. It's usually after he's eaten after awhile, so he shouldn't be desperately hungry. I think maybe he's tired and just loses control of himself. Supposedly he does not yet know that those flailing arms and legs are his anyway, since he can't consciously control them.
The one thing I did not expect was how much time nursing would take! He eats anywhere from every hour to every two and a half hours. A feeding takes 30-45 min. So by the time a feeding ends, there is very little time left until the next feeding and it flies by. If your nipples are killing you, that isn't much time to recover in.
Sleep
Getting BB to sleep can be challenging, though from what I hear and read, he's actually pretty easy. He usually wakes up once or twice a night, which I'm learning is no big deal. As long as I can get a four-hour window of sleep, I'm pretty good. He usually gives me one of those, along with several 1.5-2 hr windows. Dirk stays up late with him so I can sleep alone. That helps a lot when BB complies with our plans. I've also been pumping a bottle of 1.5-2 oz of milk for him so that when Dirk does bring him to me, he's not going to nurse as long. (Or so that he can last longer before he needs me again.) He doesn't fill up on that amount, but so far that's what he's willing to drink from a bottle. I think he's taken up to 4 oz here and there.
Napping is more challenging. I'm trying to get him on a semi-scheduled day where he naps in the morning, early afternoon and early evening. I don't think we've ever gotten all three of those naps to take place in one day. Some days he doesn't nap seriously at all, but cat naps instead. Other days he's very tired and sleep a whole bunch. Those are my vacation days.
Development
My Body
I'm just starting to exercise again and I've got many aches and pains from handling a ten-pound weight (or higher?) every day. Mostly my back muscles and my wrists are feeling the burden. My abs are weak and when I arch my back, I feel how sore they are. But it's sooooooo much better than being pregnant! Towards the end, my sister used to tell me that I'd get my body back soon. She said that even though it felt like I would be pregnant forever - that this was the new me - it wasn't true. I would make a comeback. It was hard to believe her. Today, for the first time since maybe last summer, I jumped on my spin bike for a workout just because I felt like it! I honestly never thought I'd feel like exercising again, but a new day is dawning. It's also amazing how easy it is to jump up from the couch, bend down to peer under the couch and run around the house doing things. It's total bliss not being pregnant if you can remember not to take it for granted. (I am quickly forgetting what it was like.) Also, all those aches and pains I had while pregnant - in particular lots of crotch muscle pain were gone IMMEDIATELY after giving birth. That was unbelievable.
posted by Skye Xyan @ 1:33 PM
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