Failing

Yesterday 17 of 20 students failed their final exam. The stupid thing is that it wasn't even a final - it was a test over the last two chapters on logarithms and trig. Even the stellar student who always gets everything perfect got a C+. It's frustrating because on one level it feels like my fault, but on another level it seems very clear that nobody cared enough to study very hard, if at all.

...Deleted anecdotal story... because I got worried that...

Someday I am going to get sued for putting these stories on the internet.

Signs

I think the tornadoes in Texas are a sign that God is angry with George Bush.

Teaching

My lecture today proved two things to me:

1) I do not understand statistics.
2) I do not know how to teach statistics.

But it was my first try, so I'm not too worried. My lecture was true, and somewhat accurate, I just have no depth of knowledge behind my words yet. And I'm actually kind of excited about that.

I offered this class an extra credit opportunity where they could turn in all assigned, but non-graded homework problems to boost their graded homework grade. Some of the best students immediately turned a bunch of work in because they had been doing all the problems (whether graded or not) all along. It's not like they really needed extra credit anyway. But I thought the weaker students could really benefit from this since it would force them to review for the final.

So far two weaker students have turned in "all" the extra credit work. It's identical to the answers in the back of the book. They did not even try to hide it. I am really curious how my conversations with them are going to go... I really wonder why they thought copying the answers down was a useful exercise.

And more...

I called Connie's office number. It appears to be a real office. I did not have the guts to press "0" for the operator.

Still Hooked

So, Dirk looked it up on Snopes and it is supposedly true: http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/daylight.asp

I am baffled at the responses - almost everyone felt the need to explain Connie's error. A few were polite enough to suggest that maybe they did not understand DST. (I'm almost 100% sure they were just being nice, but why even consider saying that?) I suppose they were explaining the error to poor Connie, who obviously does need a lot of help if she is serious. I'm also really surprised at how polite the letters are and that nobody told Connie that she is just plain STUPID.

A google of Connie's name turns up her lawyer contact information. I wonder if her office is being flooded with calls and if she'll be speaking to the media anytime soon. I would love to see her and hear whatever she has to say about this.

I guess so?

http://www.nwanews.com/adg/Editorial/187608


http://www.blog.thesietch.org/2007/04/17/daylight-savings-time-evil-plot-by-liberal-congress-to-cause-global-warming/

There are many more links...

Is this real?

Hormones & Mood

I had one of my super-happy-mood days. A few co-workers commented on it and one asked me, "Why are you so HAPPY??!!" I thought it was spring and a possible new job, but as I was walking home it occurred to me that yesterday also included spring and a possible new job and I was pretty miserable. Today I felt like I had entered (literally) a new world and I had some trouble realizing that yesterday really happened... yesterday. It seems really far away.

Yesterday (in the AM anyway) I experienced high-anxiety accompanied with the usual fatalistic ideas that I would never be happy and I had ruined my entire life and nothing would ever work out right for me. (Yes, I know that I'm exaggerating even when I'm exaggerating but sometimes it really FEELS that way. Seriously.) Today, I am generous of spirit and rational and pretty damn happy about whatever happens and hopeful (in a good way) about my future. And I still had a normally stressful day and I am still tired at the end of it and I still want to crawl in my bed, but in a different way than yesterday and the few days before it.

All this because my period started. It's almost stupid that I have not learned to pay more attention to my cycle because I KNOW that I will end up in tears at some point in the days leading up to my start date and I KNOW that my anxiety levels peak the day before, and yet I am almost always caught by surprise at this. There is definitely a part of me that wants to believe this is all psychosomatic baloney even though I also KNOW that I will be so happy the day and day after the bleeding starts.

So in an effort to pay more attention next time I am publicly posted this for all of you and mostly as a "note to self." I like being my own science project.

Personal Evolution

I just bought myself a Nautica golf umbrella. This is a long way from the autumn of my freshman year in college when I "borrowed" a cafeteria tray to protect myself from the rain. My older, wiser friend George promptly went out and bought me an umbrella because "A lady should not be wearing a tray."

Sushi Update

I still haven't given up the salmon sushi, though I continue to enjoy the avocado maki a lot more. The percentage of avocado maki on my plate is much higher than the salmon though. I have yet to experience salmon disillusionment.

This is old news, but I had some chicken farfalle at a restaurant a month ago. People! Chicken tastes good!

Just telling you.

Latte Update

I'd stayed away from the lattes for quite awhile due to my latte disillusionment. However, I had reason to be in coffee shops recently, so here's my report:

1) Last weekend I went for the latte with real milk. It was okay, but continues to lack luster and I don't like the taste it leaves in my mouth.

2) Yesterday I went ahead and got the soy latte. The sweetness of the soy milk is growing on me, and I decided I like the soy latte. Plus - I reminded myself that a cow did not have to do nary a day's work for my treat.

3) Today I got another soy latte and I was feeling kind of full so I only drank half of it. Clearly, it is not so good that I will keep drinking it even if I am full. This says a lot because there are many things that I will continue drinking/eating to the point of pain simply because they are there in front of me. Obviously, I don't like lattes that much. I'm probably a victim of the "coffee is cool" mentality of the decade. The only coffee shop I will even consider is Starbucks, so I must've really bought into their marketing somehow.

Weekend Report

Yesterday I stayed late at work and updated all my grade sheets and made copies of quizzes for next week. Last night I caught up on LOST and Ugly Betty. Today I graded exams and homework with Anna and we had Pad Thai and I didn't stuff myself to the point of pain like the last time I had Pad Thai! Why am I capitalizing Pad Thai? That is a sign that I like it A LOT. I also just went swimming and now I am on my second load of laundry. I'll probably call my sister next and I have more school work to think about.

Two things to report from the locker room at the pool:

1) One six year old girl says to her friend, "Would you rather give me a dollar or be naked in front of the WHOLE WORLD?"

Her friend did not answer, so this girl went on to explain that it really wasn't that big a deal, it's like when they were babies and everyone saw them naked anyway. It's interesting that at six there is a logical argument for whoring yourself out for a dollar. :)

2) I'm tempted to pass on the unfortunate image of one woman's nakedness, but then you'd stop reading my blog.

Somebody Got it Right!

I got a kick out of this:

Why the King James Bible is the Word of God

This is an issue I remember my college religion teacher attacking. Something about the KJV being the result of several translations including translating it BACK into a language it came from. I don't remember the details though.

Atheism

I stopped by the bookstore today to read a small book that caught my eye last week, Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. It was addressed (obviously) to Christians and it's writer is an atheist who supports evolution and Richard Dawkins and science. I thought Sam had a very reasonable approach to the subject. It especially held meaning for me after watching the film "Jesus Camp" yesterday with Dirk.

One thing he said that impressed me was this: In our country is very respectable to be religious and not very respectable at all to be an atheist. He points out that athiests are really not doing anything other than refusing to believe in something that can't be proven. Nobody has to say they are an Easter Bunny athiest for instance, because we all know that the EB does not exist. But talking about God is a whole different matter.

He argues that it's time to take a stand against religion and stop this politically correct "tolerance" of people who will not tolerate others. An example he gives is Europe. According to him, most Western European countries have done away with God and their nations have less crime, teen prenancy, health issues, etc. than faith-laden nations. But one major problem is that the Muslims are moving in. They are particularly dominant in France, says Sam. They are fundamentalists bent on doing things their way, but have no problem with the "live and let live" philosophy of the nation because it allows them to prosper. He is suggesting that this is a problem, and I can't help but agree.

He uses the Muslim faith to illustrate his points because it's easy to get stirred up about what they're up to and then you have to stop and look at what Christians are doing here. "Jesus Camp" did a similar thing - though it was the children's minister that did it - she pointed out that Muslims heavily indoctrinate their children and they do terrible things like blow people up. In turn, she thinks we need to indoctrinate our children just as strongly in Christ, but of course she isn't (as far as we know) telling them to blow anybody up. (Except maybe for the occasional abortion clinic, but that's totally different because human life is so sacred.)

I followed Sam's lead to a couple websites, which I haven't had much time to look at yet:

God is Imaginary and Why Does God Hate Amputees?

I did like some of the proofs that God is imaginary. This is from #19: Notice that You Ignore Jesus


"The message is clear. If you want to follow Jesus, you need to "sell your possessions and give to the poor." It is a very simple message, and easy to do. Have you done it? The fact that you are reading this page would indicate that you have not. Chances are you own a computer, pay for an Internet connection every month, live in a home or apartment, have a car, etc. In other words, you live a life at a level of wealth unimaginable in Jesus' time. Meanwhile, billions of people on the planet live in startling, abject poverty.

Why don't you sell everything and follow Jesus, as he requests in the Bible? The reason is simple: Jesus and God are imaginary, and you know it. If Jesus were real, you would do what he says."


It's a reasonable point.

So religion has been coming up recently as Dirk and I talk about what we really believe and try to communicate that to eachother. Also, my nephew just got baptized and the thought of what I'll do with our own children nags me. I don't want to baptize them, but I don't want to offend our families either. And that's a pretty weak reason to make important decisions. After all, once you baptize them you'll still be expected to take them to church and do all other sorts of stuff with them. I'd like my kids to understand their families' religious heritages, and Dirk and I both agree there is cultural, familial and emotional meaning in our religious upbringings. Just because we don't subscribe to the core beliefs doesn't mean we don't get something out of the church experience.

But going along with the church experience just might be against what I REALLY believe, and Mr. Harris got me started thinking about that...

Drunk Blog

Today I made spontaneous plans to go out with a friend/co-worker after work. She lives somewhat close to me, so we rode the bus home and went for pizza and sat at the bar. We had a glass of wine. I hardly drink at all anymore, so the glass of wine easily had it's effect and we decided to have one more because we were starting to have a pretty good time. She was funny because she is single and self-describes as "really horny" and she was interested in the bartender, who was cute, but nothing special and she was convinced he was gay, but I didn't think so. By the end of the night I was somewhat convinced that he was gay and she thought he was straight but kind of stupid. FYI, she thought he was stupid because he majored in electrical engineering and she's a poet, so what would they talk about? This said, even though he left engineering to manage a band and told us he paints. And of course there's the bartending. LOL.

But anyways, we had fun and laughed and dished a lot and it was a nice change of pace for me because I hardly see her and I hardly ever get tipsy and it was just fun.

Now I am home. I am relaxed and sleepy and making more typing mistakes than usual and I am going to get into bed soon and watch October Road, which is a silly show maybe but I've gotten kind of invested in the romance and I want to know if the kid is his or not and I hope she eventually breaks down and kisses him because she already said she wants to and obviously they still love eachother and I'm pretty sure it's his kid or the show would not make any sense.

It is funny to be somewhat drunk because my whole skin feels kind of numb and loose and relaxed and sloppy. And I am sleepy. But I feel happy too.

I miss Dirk. I called his office just in case he was there, but he wasn't. So no drunk Skye for him! He just gets to read my blog. I did consider walking over to his house because I was a super good walker tonight - wow I could walk fast! But I decided to go home and let my roommate laugh at me instead and then I wrote this blog.

One More Favorite

This blurb is about another student in the same class:

Instead of desks, they have tables, which are arranged in a U-shape around the room. This means that most students are sitting sideways and have to turn slightly to see the board. So one student turns herself to face the back of the classroom. She faces the back of the room throughout my entire lecture, which is full of lots of equations and symbols and numbers and stuff you can't really just LISTEN to, but need to SEE.

After class I suggest to her that she might want to face the board and she says, no, it's easier for her just to listen. In fact, she learns better this way. Otherwise, she just can't pay attention.

Hey, whatever fails the class for you.

Honestly

I can't wait for the day when The New Blogger can actually "Remember Me."

So I am a teacher and part of my identity as a teacher includes the idea that I like all my students. I never want to be the teacher that causes students to say things like "she doesn't like me" or "she hates us." Yet, I complain about a small portion of my students A LOT because they do really stupid, annoying things like not pay attention, or disrupt class, or put in zero effort to learn the material. Then sometimes they go beyond that and essentially accuse me of not being supportive enough of their needs. A student actually told me today that I should take her needs into special consideration. Somehow the fact that she sits in class and stares into space, is often absent, never contributes, has no idea what is going on and has blown off my attempts to talk to her is MY problem now. In my mind I want to say a resounding "F*&$ You!" and flounce away because the reality is she really pissed me off.

Anyways, here's the point: I admitted to myself today that I do not like all my students. In fact, I actively DISLIKE some of them. I could argue that I like the person, just not the behavior, and if I met these people under different circumstances, I might like them. This is all probably true. But as it stands, in this student/teacher relationship, I do not like some of these people. I just don't. And it makes me feel better just to admit that instead of having a nagging feeling that I don't want to go to class. Because I actually like most of my students and I like to go see them, but having these negative feelings makes me class averse and that is just plain unfortunate. I want to like my job, not be depressed over it. So I'm hoping that if I can just be more honest with myself then I can be a happier teacher.

I try very hard to be the nice teacher that everybody likes and you can always expect to get a warm fuzzy from. But that's kind of a lie. I wouldn't push you under a bus and I won't swear at you outside of my head, but I just may not like you much at all. And I just might put some evil questions on the test that only a hard-working student could hope to answer.

And yes, it's true, (with some exceptions) my favorite students are the ones who come to class and ask questions and talk to me about the material and are actually interested. Go figure.